Financial Tips for Retired Folks.....Coming Soon

Notes to self re: Check into Retirement Finances
Goodbye Tension; Hello Pension!

Notes to Self: Now that you are retired, you must learned to be frugal.
Plan wisely so that you can enjoy your golden years
Plan first vacation in 20 years
Buy something special for self to celebrate
Join the bookclubs you've always wanted to join
ENJOY ENJOY ENJOY
Submit retirement paperwork promptly

Month 1

From: Workuntilyoudrop Inc.
TO: Ms. Gonnaretiresoon

Dear GonnaRetireSoon:

We are so pleased to congratulate you as you approach your Golden Years and want to share with you some of the things that will make your retirement from the Workuntilyoudrop Company go smoothly.

Thank you for your promptness in filling out in triplicate with a No. 2 pencil the 102 pages of forms and hand carrying them to our office. Even though our office is only 100 miles from your work station, some people find that to be an excuse for not compiling expeditiously and therefore cause unnecessary delay in starting the rewarding retirement process.

Your first check for your retirement should arrive as soon as your paperwork is completed and you have officially left the workplace...usually in
4 to 6 months. One should prepare for this unpaid leave interval by being frugal and putting aside a bit each month. Planning ahead will benefit you
greatly as you prepare for your retirement.


Notes to Self:
Cancel any unnecessary subscriptions and book clubs just to be on safe side.
Start Christmas Club account and savings account.
Cancel cell phone service
Check into loan from family just in case...


Month Two:

Dear GonnaRetiresoon:

So sorry to hear of your problems with returning the return of your returned paperwork but as you know it is imperative that every thing be in order and we did find some misspelled words on pages 99 and 100 that we had missed before.
I assure you that all paperwork is in order now and your first check should be on its way to you shortly minus the late paperwork fee, the new tax on paper, additional fee for rescheduling your date of check arrival and a surcharge to cover things we may have missed in the above taxes.


Note to Self:

Cancel Club Scrap
Cancel subscriptions to AARP
Cancel cable tv and internet
Call family from neighbor's phone to ask about possible loan.
Buy dog cheaper food
Buy cheaper car


Month Three

By now you are enjoying your third month of retirement and we do hope all is going well for you. We here at Workyouuntilyou drop Inc are so pleased to see
that your first check will soon be on its way. Unfortunately, unforeseen tax hikes have made your check a tiny bit small than the X amount of dollars you were to receive.
We were forced to take out more for insurance due to a price hike and X amount to pay for the cost of living increase for our still working employees. Be advised that
since you are retired you will not quality for the annual COLA increase so please do not include that 5 % increase in your salary, but do plan on it being
deducted to pay for the increase in costs to our company.

Note to Self:

Cancel AT&T
Sell Tv and VCR
By cheaper dog food
Sell clothes
Rent out room to strangers
Sell car

Month Four:

Congratulations new happy retiree!! We are so happy to enclose your first check stub. With all of the deductions and taxes you only owe us $275.00. Unfortunately,
with all of the new laws and taxes, there was not enough in your check to cover the rising cost of health care. I know that you will understand and
thank you for your prompt consideration of this matter. If amount is not received in 30 days a collection service will be notified. It has been our pleasure to
serve you in the happy event of your retirement. Please feel free to call us if you have any questions or suggestions. Do keep in mind, however, that no
obscene language will be tolerated! Have a lovely retirement.


Note to Self:

Sell house
Sell dog
Sell neighbors car
Eat the remaining dog food
Look for job